BAD
Yesterday started with me taking a trip to crazy town. I recently moved into my new apartment and was just able to get my dog Bella-Boo moved in. Sunday night was her first night staying over. Since we are on the second floor and she was previously used to running out to a fenced in yard I was concerned about her making it down the hallway, then the elevator and out the door before she had an accident. I purchased a Puppy Loo (do not buy BTW it is a piece of crap) to put on my balcony for her. It is a 3’ x 3’ tray with synthetic grass inside. Well she refuses to use the thing so it’s like potty training all over again. Yesterday I final got her out then in to eat breakfast then out again to go one and two. Once that was done I was all happy I was up early and I was going to hit the gym.
This was the first time I went to the property gym and I am not a fan. I am an elliptical queen. I like the ellipticals that slide up and down a track with NO moving arms. When the ones they have more glide and have arms attached that swing opposite the feet. Hate it! I did 5 minutes of cardio and left. On the walk back to my unit I was sooo frustrated. My dog is having potty training issues, I moved into this “luxury” building for the amenities like the gym and turns out I don’t like the gym and on top of that I need to eat my meal plan when all I want to do is eat CRAP when I’m upset.
Well I got back to the apartment, looked at apartments online and even emailed my realtor to find me a new place (I have also been contending with noise from the upstairs neighbor). I was done with this place. I text my mom, text my fitness buddy and then hoped in the shower so I wouldn’t be late for work. Well in the shower I finally relaxed and turned the car around from crazy town. I moved to CT October 2008 for a job. Since then I have moved to CT I have moved SEVEN times. SEVEN TIMES IN FOUR YEARS. I have commitment issues if you can’t tell and this morning almost became number eight. So once I turned the car around I thought…this is great that Bella is sticking with her potty training going outside. It will be good for her to stick with that instead of learning some new synthetic grass so she is a normal dog. Plus I want to eventually move into a house and who wants to carry synthetic grass around when I go visit my mom. This is really me being inconvenienced and me being lazy. Next, I shave always wanted to become a runner. Well since they don’t have “my elliptical” I am going to make friends with the treadmill. Plus I still have a gym membership at Crunch. If I really have the urge to be on an elliptical I can go there. I still can do all my strength training at the property gym. So crisis averted!!!
GOOD
This was the first time I went to the property gym and I am not a fan. I am an elliptical queen. I like the ellipticals that slide up and down a track with NO moving arms. When the ones they have more glide and have arms attached that swing opposite the feet. Hate it! I did 5 minutes of cardio and left. On the walk back to my unit I was sooo frustrated. My dog is having potty training issues, I moved into this “luxury” building for the amenities like the gym and turns out I don’t like the gym and on top of that I need to eat my meal plan when all I want to do is eat CRAP when I’m upset.
Well I got back to the apartment, looked at apartments online and even emailed my realtor to find me a new place (I have also been contending with noise from the upstairs neighbor). I was done with this place. I text my mom, text my fitness buddy and then hoped in the shower so I wouldn’t be late for work. Well in the shower I finally relaxed and turned the car around from crazy town. I moved to CT October 2008 for a job. Since then I have moved to CT I have moved SEVEN times. SEVEN TIMES IN FOUR YEARS. I have commitment issues if you can’t tell and this morning almost became number eight. So once I turned the car around I thought…this is great that Bella is sticking with her potty training going outside. It will be good for her to stick with that instead of learning some new synthetic grass so she is a normal dog. Plus I want to eventually move into a house and who wants to carry synthetic grass around when I go visit my mom. This is really me being inconvenienced and me being lazy. Next, I shave always wanted to become a runner. Well since they don’t have “my elliptical” I am going to make friends with the treadmill. Plus I still have a gym membership at Crunch. If I really have the urge to be on an elliptical I can go there. I still can do all my strength training at the property gym. So crisis averted!!!
GOOD
Some of you may have noticed Tosca Reno checked out my blog yesterday!!! Who is Tosca Reno you ask? Well first of all get out from under your rock!! I include this from her bio on her blog.
“At age 40, author Tosca Reno found herself miserable, overweight, stuck in an unhappy marriage, and living an unfulfilled life. She was able to turn her life around and is now a successful author, motivational speaker and wellness consultant, media personality and model. Tosca has penned eleven books, including the incredibly successful Eat-Clean Diet® series, has appeared on numerous national television and radio programs and now travels across North America appearing at book signings and seminars to deliver her message of health, wellness and inspiration.”
Let me also remind you that she inspired me to dedicate the stage to Dad with her Reps for Bob (her husband who just recently passed away). So now that you understand who she is you can understand how incredible it was to have her view my blog and compliment me on it. It is really crazy how the internet can make the world so small. You get the opportunity to meet people you never thought you would be able to.
UGLY
Now to the worst of it. I completely turned my day around. I changed my outlook on the morning, Tosca saw my blog, I was pumped. Then I got home….Another thing you need to know about me is I have never been single. I am 29 years old and have always had a boyfriend/husband/fling/One on the side. I am not proud of this but I want to be honest on here and nor am I saying they were all quality men to be hanging out with. Not only to I have an issue committing to someone but I also have a hard time committing to myself. I don’t really like being alone. It gives me anxiety. I think it’s because I use other people to distract me of things about myself I need to focus on. I don’t like conflict either so I don’t want to deal with the conflict of facing myself. Ok so getting back on track…I got home last night and once settle it was just mean and the Boo. Shit now what I do. I went back to old habits. I had three beers left in my fridge from the weekend. Why I didn’t throw them out I don’t know. Maybe I wanted to taunt myself? Maybe I wanted to prove to myself I could look at them and say no? A friend of mine told me once that getting to know yourself includes knowing positions you cannot put yourself in because you know how you are and you know the outcome. Well I should not put myself in the position of having temptations in the house at this early stage and think I am going to be able to turn them down.
Now to the worst of it. I completely turned my day around. I changed my outlook on the morning, Tosca saw my blog, I was pumped. Then I got home….Another thing you need to know about me is I have never been single. I am 29 years old and have always had a boyfriend/husband/fling/One on the side. I am not proud of this but I want to be honest on here and nor am I saying they were all quality men to be hanging out with. Not only to I have an issue committing to someone but I also have a hard time committing to myself. I don’t really like being alone. It gives me anxiety. I think it’s because I use other people to distract me of things about myself I need to focus on. I don’t like conflict either so I don’t want to deal with the conflict of facing myself. Ok so getting back on track…I got home last night and once settle it was just mean and the Boo. Shit now what I do. I went back to old habits. I had three beers left in my fridge from the weekend. Why I didn’t throw them out I don’t know. Maybe I wanted to taunt myself? Maybe I wanted to prove to myself I could look at them and say no? A friend of mine told me once that getting to know yourself includes knowing positions you cannot put yourself in because you know how you are and you know the outcome. Well I should not put myself in the position of having temptations in the house at this early stage and think I am going to be able to turn them down.
Last night I didn’t blog last night because I was hiding. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share. If readers would consider me a fraud or be disappointed. My fitness buddy reminded me this morning that someone may actually be able to relate to this too and that this is a progress. It is ok to make mistakes and not be perfect. Acknowledge it, learn and move on.
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